I'm starting the final table of the WSOPE main event tomorrow, a little below par but all things considered, I'm happy.  I started yesterday with 710k and 36 players left; I finished the day with 674k and 9 players left, with average around a million.  Blinds are 10k-20k so I am not quite on life support and do have a bit of room to maneuver but wow--what a tough final table.  Jason Mercier has been absolutely dominating and has a pretty big chip lead, Daniel Negreanu is short but obviously always dangerous and frankly, I wouldn't be thrilled to see any of the remaining players at a cash game table.  Yesterday was a very frustrating day--pretty much all of my hands played themselves and I didn't have any particularly interesting spots.  I folded a lot, which, as most of you guys know, is pretty rare for me and makes me sad.  But today is a new day and being out there under the hot lights with ESPN around is a far cry from playing at home in my pajamas.  I'm certainly not saying I prefer it, but it is a fun and exciting change of pace.  Time to shower and get going!

I generally don't like to post about strategy in much more than general conceptual ideas, but I discussed a fairly neat HU LHE hand with cardplayer.  You can see it here:  http://www.cardplayer.com/poker-news/7517-poker-strategy-matt-hawrilenko-cash-game-hand-analysis

It's been a great summer.  I've played a little bit of poker since the WSOP, but not too much.  Em and I had a total of 7 weddings to attend in three countries and also took a few side trips to enjoy New England before Em's classes start back up and I bear down with poker again.  It's nice to be back home in Boston, settled and just able to enjoy the city.  We love it here.

My marathon training crashed and burned when I tore both calf muscles multiple times.  I'm finishing up physio and starting to run little by little again, but it was really frustrating.  I'd just been on a 15 mile run at a decent clip, which was the longest run I'd ever done.  My knee was bothering me quite a bit when I'd cool down after runs, but with a few exceptions, though it might sometimes hurt while I was running it would never actually slow me down.  The first tear came on a run the day after seeing a doctor about the knee, who talked to me for 10 minutes, fit me for expensive orthotics and gave me a lift to wear in one shoe, since one leg is half an inch longer than the other.  It's not entirely clear that the tear was his fault (although I do wish he'd suggested breaking in the lift slowly), but I've never had problems like this in the past and the bayesian inference is pretty obvious.  But then, I also tore a small muscle in my neck earlier this week while bridging and rolling a heavy guy off of me in jiu jitsu.  As the chiropractor who diagnosed the tear was twisting and torquing my neck, he mumbled just loud enough for me to hear, "Why won't this thing come OFF?!"  I'm sure it's stock humor, but nonetheless I thought it was pretty awesome.  Sports coaches have always told me that eventually, though you don't notice it when you're young, you need to start stretching.  I was hoping that "eventually" would be long after I was 27, but here we are.  The neck tear wasn't too bad and it's already feeling a lot better--I'll probably get on the mat again next week and see how things go.

Planning on going to London for the WSOPE and EPT events in late Sep/early Aug--pretty excited for the trip but I'm already missing Emily, as it's going to be almost 2 weeks.  I tried to get reservations for The Fat Duck, but even over a month out, there is nothing besides a lunch reservation open for the entire time we are in London.  This was deflating news, as the london trip is probably the only thing I've planned over a month in advance besides my wedding in a long, long time.

After a long tournament with a fair few interesting hands, all of my final table decisions were relatively straightforward.  Given how tough the table was, having easy decisions made the whole thing much more enjoyable!  And I've got to say, winning feels surreal.  Nolan Dalla mentioned that many poker players like to celebrate a victory with free flowing alcohol and strip clubs, and inquired how "the math house"  would celebrate mine.  We're not so different--after a long day that finished around midnight, drinks were on me . . .  at the 24-Hour Tropical Smoothie Cafe!

I'll have more to post later, but for now--many thanks to the housemates.  Spending a month every year with 5 guys who are phenomenal players--besides being a ton of fun--is an amazing way to learn.  It goes without saying that Jerrod and Bill get a special shout out, as they taught me how to think about poker, as well as how to play.  I feel really lucky to be able to come home to discuss hands with those guys, Terrence, Gavin, and Kenny.  So, so often, everyone has something different to add to the conversation, and every year I come out of the summer a much better player than when I started.  Thanks guys!

I have 1,327,000 with 16 left in the 5k 6max NLHE, which puts me right around the chip lead.  Tomorrow should be a fun day!

Of the 10k limit hold 'em today and I'm super-excited.  We're down to 12 players and despite a few nasty hands at the end of the night--including getting AA cracked in a massive pot and failing miserably in an esoteric bluff against danny alaei--I'm still feeling good with 601k in chips (the mean is about 480).  Often in poker tournaments, no matter how well you play, your fate is decided by automatic decisions.  While I certainly made more than my share of big hands yesterday, I also had a fair few tough decisions that I got right.  I value-bet 2 pair into a 4-flush board twice, was called and won both times.  I called ralph perry down with A6 (no draw) after he defended his small blind and led out the flop, turn and river, when the board came 9-7-2-2-5.  It's possibly that he could have something like T9s there, but having just called preflop and donk-betting the flop, it looked a lot like JT (or possibly flailing around with QJ).  I also took a 3-way pot down with K high in a board where Chad Brown led out from the blind on a 9s-8c-2s flop.  The Chad hand was similar to the Ralph hand (although with less betting) in that there are particular types of boards where a lot of players--even great players--let their value bet/bluff ratio get way out of whack.

Wow, just wow.  Halfway through the night, I was moved to easily the most desirable table in the room (except for the small issue of one very obnoxious, very noxiously gassy guy).  I was pretty lucky at this table, but there were so many gems.  My biggest pot of the night went like this:

UTG raise, UTG+1 reraise, cold caller, I call with 9h 9c, sb (gassy guy) calls.

8h 3h 2d

sb bets, UTG calls, UTG+1 calls, first cold-caller calls, I raise, sb 3 bets (leaving himself with 700), call, call, call, I make it 4 bets, all call.

7h

check to me, I bet, get 1 caller

5d

check-check, UTG+1 flashes the Th and folds so I get the sidepot, sb shows A3o, bows out, and finally we can breathe again.


And here's actually an interesting hand:

gassy guy limps utg, Brandon Wong raises in the cutoff, I call with AdTd out of the bb, gassy guy calls

7h 4h 4s

check to brandon who bets, I raise, gassy guy cold-calls, brandon calls

2c

check-check-check

9h

I check, gassy guy bets, brandon calls, I decide to give it up.  They both show KQo and chop the pot.

Yes--this IS a $10,000 tournament.  On to day 2 with 86,300.  If you're interested, I'm twittering (mostly chipcounts) as hoss_tbf

I had a friend's wedding in southern california this morning and had to head straight to the airport from the reception to get back in time for the 10k HU tournament today.  Thanks to a superstar shuttle driver, I left the hotel about 45 minutes before my flight but still managed to get on the plane on time.  All seemed well until the pilot announced that there had been a "security breach" and all flights were grounded until it was resolved.  Though we knew it was probably no big deal, it nonetheless made for an unsettling 45 minutes on the tarmac.  They never told us what it was, but the flight got me into vegas in time to make it to the rio, albeit in full wedding attire.  The tournament started well as I won both my matches and am on to Match #3.  Also, it seems that people treat you better when you wear a suit . . .  I gave the valet a normal tip, but he kept my dirty, rental Prius up front between a bentley and a ferrari.  Heh.
Had a few interesting hands today but I'll post them in a few days.  I go sleep now.

Two days ago, I purchased courtside seats for Celtics/Magic game 7 online with stubhub for a grand a piece.  When I picked up the tickets 30 minutes before the game, it turnrf out they were not courtside seats, they were floor seats (the section behind courtside).  I first mentioned it to the agent I picked them up from who told me there was nothing she could do and that I should call customer service after the game.  Well--I actually called customer service before the game.  They offered me a $20 coupon and asked me to fax the tickets in.  I laughed at this as it was now 10 minutes before game time, and asked if there was any reason we couldn't resume the conversation after the game.  She said no problem.  So I called back this morning, at which point StubHub offered to refund their 10% service fee.  After a lot of back and forth, the supervisor went back to corporate and was told that the best they could do was a refund that would amount to ~$400, because it was the lowest price the seller had agreed to sell his tickets for through the site.  I still thought that was ridiculous since I was still overpaying for comparable floor seats (our actual tickets were in row C near the baseline . . . I had seen front row floor seats for $200 less/ticket than we paid for our 'courtside' seats).  Besides, given that the seller misrepresented his tickets and violated StubHub's terms, I didn't see why the seller should receive any consideration at all.  The agent informed me that if I hadn't gone to the game, they may have been able to issue a full refund.  Unfortunately, the agent who gave me the tickets didn't mention this, nor did the agent I spoke with on the phone, nor does the Fan Protect Guarantee on their website.  And I'm not asking for a full refund--I've suggested that the fair thing to do is refund me the difference between the price I paid for the tickets I thought I was getting and the face value of the tickets I actually got.  Obviously, this works out to my benefit because the tix would have sold for more than face value, but when customers are misled, the ultimate resolution *should* work out to their benefit.  And in practice, I actually would have bought better seats for less money.

I generally buy tickets through ticketsnow.com and have had nothing but great experiences, contrasting greatly with stubhub, in which 2 out of 3 experiences have been bad.  The previous one was my fault--I bought tickets for the wrong date, realized immediately after I clicked submit and called customer service, who told me that despite the fact the seller hadn't yet confirmed the order, there was nothing they could do.  I totally understand this is their policy and I don't blame StubHub for it, although when I made the exact same mistake with ticketsnow, they told me it was no problem and immediately canceled the order.  Sigh . . . if only all e-businesses were as responsive and customer friendly as FullTiltPoker.com.

i get a phone call today from an unknown number.  I answer, "Hello?"

It's a girl.  She yells:  "WHAT DID YOUR MESSAGE SAY?!"

"Um, who is this?"

"WHO DO YOU THINK???!"

"I think you might have the wrong number"

"OH, I DON'T THINK SO, MISTER"

"no, i really think you have the wrong number"

"I WILL CALL RIGHT BACK"

i wait 5 minutes and text, "i told you so!"

and the text reply . . .

"man, u were so rite im havn a rough day, ugh. so sorry"

and another

"you took it very well though. first time a stranger ever call u to yell at ya?"

I took a few minutes to craft the best response I could think of and finally it hit me.  "Facebook-friend me?"

It's been a long, social weekend.  It started off gently enough when Em and I met some friends for dinner Thursday night.  We had some friends over for dinner on friday, whence we made gourmet filet mignon tacos with mango salsa--finally using the grill that's sat dormant on the roof deck for almost a year--and paired them with a nice syrah, at the suggestion of one Quiet Lion (who we were meeting the next night).  I played poker all day saturday until we met QL and his girlfriend, who are in town for marathon festivities, along with Em's brother.  We went to Sel de la Terre, a casual New Englandy/organic/french sister-restaurant-of-the-more-fancy-L'Espalier (which is probably our favorite higher end restaurant in Boston).  The real fun began when Brodie looks at the menu, calls over the sommelier and says, "WHAT?!  You don't have a SINGLE bottle over $150?"  I suggested that he might just want to pay double or triple the menu's asking price . . . After some awkward silence the Lion growls, "Can we see the wine list from next door?"  And the sommelier complies.  RFB.

Em and I ran a 5k race that started 2 blocks from our house on Sunday Morning at 8, just to get in the spirit of marathon weekend.  8 is a pretty early hour for me, particularly for any sort of athleticism, and the previous night's dinner--and > $150 bottle of burgundy--was still sitting heavily in my stomach.  I had a pretty brutal cramp right through the very end of the race, at which point I was out-kicked by a couple of 12 year-olds.  In my defense, they looked lanky for their ages.  On the women's side, Em out-leaned (ahem . . . 51 year-old . . .) Olympic champion Joan Benoit-Samuelson for third place, won a glass cup and shook the mayor's hand.  Afterwards, We met Brandon Adams and his wife, Marisa, for brunch, then sprinted off to meet a friend who just arrived in town to stay at our place to run the marathon the following day. 

We live two blocks from the finish, so it's hard not to get caught up in the excitement of it all.  The last few miles of the race, there are crowds of people several bodies deep lining the roads and the Comm. ave mall, holding signs, hooting horns and ringing bells, leaning out windows, sitting on couches on lawns, sipping cocktails and generally being very revelrous.  It's a giant party and over 500,000 spectators participate.  So anyway, I'm going to try to qualify to run next year.  The standard will be difficult for me:  I'll have to run another marathon in 3:10, which to put in perspective means I'll have to run about 18 seconds faster/mile than I did in the half marathon I was so thrilled about completing.  It's a long journey from here to there and I'm honestly not sure whether I'll be able to do it, but at least at the moment I'm pretty excited --I'm always happiest when I have goals to work towards.  With that in mind, this morning I registered for the Chicago Marathon, which takes place in October and is probably the fastest marathon in the US as it's a very flat course.  I think one of the biggest hurdles in the whole thing will be getting good runs in during the WSOP this summer.  Summertime in Vegas is not very runner friendly--running outdoors is pretty much out of the question--and I hate treadmills, but that's what it's going to have to be.

And I have to say--my training has gotten off to an enjoyable start.  Monday night after the race, Em and I were so exhausted from the weekend of socializing that we curled up on the couch, watched television, and had cupcakes for dinner.  It's never too early to carbo-load.

I was walking home from lunch with my friend Mike today and we were in the sparse middle of 2 thicker groups of people crossing a crosswalk.  A driver tried to cut us off and in the process, ran over my foot.  I am fine, no injuries to speak of, as evidenced by the fact that I sprinted four blocks after his car . . . before finally catching up to him.  I yelled at him and he didn't really say a word.  He was wearing a cammo t-shirt and gold chain--his sister/girlfriend was smartly dressed, evidently horrified and tried to defuse the situation, so I let it drop.  I snapped a picture of his license plate and walked home.  I really hate drivers who are aggressive at crosswalks but I'm not sure that reporting him would accomplish anything.  As for his license plate:  the Mark of the Beast!

Tonight, I made my third high stakes scoop final table in the last 3 days.  Obviously, I ran insanely well to get there, but I ran pretty badly at the final table . . . flopped middle set vs top pair, which made a runner-runner boat, and flopped top 2 + flush draw vs an overpair, which made a runner-runner wheel.  Oh well, it IS omaha, and I'm sure I did the same thing to others throughout the tournament.
It also helps that while playing the O8 final table, I managed to win several times first place money in a 1k2k game.  
I still want a champion's watch.

If you're interested in watching my 5k 6max final table, it's event 14 on www.pokerstars.tv. they show a decent amount of the hands once we get heads up.  One point of clarification:  there is a hand where I reraise with 7c3c, then on the turn bet 17k into a 200k+ pot.  It was a misclick . . . I had meant to bet 170k.  If I do that, I follow through and 3-barrel the river.  After that, the ace paired and given the turn action, it makes a bluff pretty hard to pull off.  Combine that with the fact that I felt like I had a pretty big advantage playing with deeper stacks, I still think giving up was right, despite the fact that my opponent won a massive pot with 8 high . . .  Not only do the river cards fail me, so do my fingers!

Had a pretty good performance in this tournament.  After the deal, I netted ~290k.  Things got pretty ugly when we were heads up.  Here are the two biggest pots we played.

PokerStars Game #26892974591: Tournament #200904143, $5000+$200 Hold'em No Limit - Level XXVII (3000/6000) - 2009/04/09 7:37:08 ET
Table '200904143 47' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 2: Hoss_TBF (1325885 in chips)
Seat 3: garompon (329115 in chips)
Hoss_TBF: posts the ante 750
garompon: posts the ante 750
garompon: posts small blind 3000
Hoss_TBF: posts big blind 6000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [6d 7d]
garompon: raises 12000 to 18000
Hoss_TBF: calls 12000
*** FLOP *** [7c Qs 6h]
Hoss_TBF: checks
garompon: bets 24000
Hoss_TBF: raises 36000 to 60000
garompon: calls 36000
*** TURN *** [7c Qs 6h] [Js]
Hoss_TBF: bets 96000
garompon: calls 96000
*** RIVER *** [7c Qs 6h Js] [Th]
Hoss_TBF: bets 1151135 and is all-in
garompon: calls 154365 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (996770) returned to Hoss_TBF
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hoss_TBF: shows [6d 7d] (two pair, Sevens and Sixes)
garompon: shows [Kh Ah] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
garompon collected 658230 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 658230 | Rake 0
Board [7c Qs 6h Js Th]
Seat 2: Hoss_TBF (big blind) showed [6d 7d] and lost with two pair, Sevens and Sixes
Seat 3: garompon (button) (small blind) showed [Kh Ah] and won (658230) with a straight, Ten to Ace


Then, this hand:

PokerStars Game #26893533674: Tournament #200904143, $5000+$200 Hold'em No Limit - Level XXVIII (3500/7000) - 2009/04/09 8:07:42 ET
Table '200904143 47' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 2: Hoss_TBF (1274270 in chips)
Seat 3: garompon (380730 in chips)
Hoss_TBF: posts the ante 875
garompon: posts the ante 875
garompon: posts small blind 3500
Hoss_TBF: posts big blind 7000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [Kh 7d]
garompon: raises 14000 to 21000
Hoss_TBF: calls 14000
*** FLOP *** [7c 6c Kd]
Hoss_TBF: checks
garompon: bets 35000
Hoss_TBF: calls 35000
*** TURN *** [7c 6c Kd] [2h]
Hoss_TBF: checks
garompon: bets 323855 and is all-in
Hoss_TBF: calls 323855
*** RIVER *** [7c 6c Kd 2h] [9h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Hoss_TBF: shows [Kh 7d] (two pair, Kings and Sevens)
garompon: shows [9s Kc] (two pair, Kings and Nines)
garompon collected 761460 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 761460 | Rake 0
Board [7c 6c Kd 2h 9h]
Seat 2: Hoss_TBF (big blind) showed [Kh 7d] and lost with two pair, Kings and Sevens
Seat 3: garompon (button) (small blind) showed [9s Kc] and won (761460) with two pair, Kings and Nines


We were only playing heads up for 25k, but apparently there was also a champion's watch on the line, which is the really brutal part of the whole thing.  I've always wanted a champion's watch.

As a few of you guys know, Em and I just took our first sans-computer vacation in a long time.  Over her spring break, we spent four days in Rome and four in Florence.  Hopefully unrelated to our electronic deprivation, I had an awful time sleeping and couldn't sleep more than 4-5 hours a night.  The second morning in Rome I woke up around 4:30, read Angels and Demons for a while (it seemed setting-appropriate) and in a shocking turn of events, I snuck out of the room to go for a run while Emily was still asleep.  Though fairly short, it was an awesome run.  The sun was rising and streets only starting to bustle.  I looped from our hotel to the ruins of ancient Rome, around the Forum and then around the Coliseum before returning.  Connecting with that sort of history--the Coliseum especially--while huffing and puffing at first light with nobody else in sight is a pretty *wow* experience, one of those moments that helps you view your own place and time in a slightly less self-centric context.

But no matter . . .  When I returned to the room, Em was still asleep.  The room was pitch black and I didn't want to wake her by turning on the light but since i was pretty thirsty, I figured I'd grab a water from our backpack and bring it into the bathroom.  The propblem, however, was that in the backpack there were 5 sparkling waters, belonging to Em and 2 still waters, which were mine.  As a math-based player, I was already working on the solution.  I thought back to an eerily similar interview question involving black and white socks in a dark bedroom that I had with Susquehanna five years earlier and I tried to determine how many bottles I'd have to grab to have an acceptably low risk of ending up with all sparkling water.  At this point, I deduced the best way to proceed was:  

P (at least 1 still water) = 1 - P (all sparkling)

As I pulled the waters one-by-one, I was tempted to stop at 3, which would have yielded ~30% chance of all sparkling, but decided to be extra sure and go for 4, which yielded <15% chance of all sparkling (yes, I really sat sweating, in the dark, on the floor next to the backpack, thirstily doing this math in my head).

I took the chosen bottles to the walk-in closet where I'd been reading, closed the doors and turned on the light.  For added suspense, like a stud player squeezing out a river card, I slow-revealed the waters to myself . . . .  All . . . f&%*ing . . . sparkling.  I muttered to myself, "Ack!  Bad beat!"  As I tiptoed to into the bedroom to grab two more waters, I grimaced as I realized that a read-based player would have just brought the whole backpack with him in the first place.  Score one for the bad guys.

Since that 300-600 session on UB, I've sent an email to support every day asking for the hand history, as the automated hhist requester is only sending me ~200 of the 1200 hands.  So far they've responded only once, at which time they sent the wrong history.  Since I quit playing on the site over a year ago, I received phone calls once a month begging me to deposit, offering me pretty large freerolls and assuring me that everything (particularly the security team!!) is much improved. They even gave me a vip email address to contact security (which nobody has ever answered).

It's been a while since I've posted, but I hope you'll find it was worth the wait.  I played a long session on UB tonight with Phil Hellmuth and another player, turnthecaroff.  Frankly, I'm not sure that Phil could win if the cards fell his way.  They didn't.

PHILHELLMUTH: but now I'm going to punich weakness



PHILHELLMUTH: and your over plays will get me even


PHILHELLMUTH: OVER PLAYS!!!!!!!!!!


PHILHELLMUTH: OP!!


PHILHELLMUTH: what a joke

 

as he says this, we are dealt a hand where it goes cutoff raise, phil rr the button, i call in bb, co calls

flop comes KK8, phil and i cap, other guy folds

turn is a 2--i bet, phil raises, i rr, phil . . . folds

HOSS_TBF: OVERPLAYS!

PHILHELLMUTH: U or me?

PHILHELLMUTH: I had 7-7

HOSS_TBF: guess that answers that question

PHILHELLMUTH: U called 3 cold

PHILHELLMUTH: in BB

PHILHELLMUTH: OP

PHILHELLMUTH: OP

PHILHELLMUTH: I luv U guys keep it up

 

PHILHELLMUTH: crunk would have 30k less if deck broke even


HOSS_TBF: phil you'd have 8 million less if deck broke even


TURNTHECAROFF: true story


PHILHELLMUTH: u morons cannot even play LH right, how U gonna beat

 

we then play a hand where the flop is jt6, we cap the flop, phil bets and i raise turn

river is a 6, phil checks, i check my J5 behind

he shows 96o for trips

 

HOSS_TBF: phil you see what i check behind last hand when you make 666

PHILHELLMUTH: U such a moron I make those checks everyday

PHILHELLMUTH: tons of times

HOSS_TBF: but i do them while actually playing well

 


PHILHELLMUTH: raise and bet every street


PHILHELLMUTH: what a joke


PHILHELLMUTH: this ***cin moron turn firing OP MF



PHILHELLMUTH: OP everyhand


PHILHELLMUTH: **** 


PHILHELLMUTH: brutal


PHILHELLMUTH: I never hit vs the moron


PHILHELLMUTH: fuyck

f
PHILHELLMUTH: RWGHwwshnjEDTYuj


PHILHELLMUTH: 35WR


PHILHELLMUTH: AE


PHILHELLMUTH: G


PHILHELLMUTH: GRT


PHILHELLMUTH: GHR
PHILHELLMUTH: TH


PHILHELLMUTH: RT


PHILHELLMUTH: ETY


PHILHELLMUTH: NJ
PHILHELLMUTH: DTYY


PHILHELLMUTH: ******* op IDUIOT



PHILHELLMUTH: wtyf


HOSS_TBF: there is a program called mavis beacon teaches typing which 

HOSS_TBF: i found very useful and you may as well


 


PHILHELLMUTH: i SIT AND PLAY SUPER GITH AND MORON PLAYS EVERYHAND AND\


PHILHELLMUTH: STILL WINS EVERTY POT

PHILHELLMUTH: **** YU    2


PHILHELLMUTH: ER


PHILHELLMUTH: THI ISNT POKER


PHILHELLMUTH: wheres the math??????????????????


PHILHELLMUTH: this isn't aupposed to happen

HOSS_TBF: phil, this is sincere: maybe you should do your breathing

HOSS_TBF: exercises

HOSS_TBF: i honestly do not want you to have another panic attack

PHILHELLMUTH: I really should

PHILHELLMUTH: I might

HOSS_TBF: you are a nice guy

PHILHELLMUTH: but I ran four miles and feel great

PHILHELLMUTH: but U right I do need to settle down

PHILHELLMUTH: just beat after beats seems unbleieavbel

PHILHELLMUTH: steamed me up way too much

PHILHELLMUTH: I prob need meds, never takin em before though

 

 

PHILHELLMUTH: wtf sick


PHILHELLMUTH: coolers and ****


HOSS_TBF: QJ vs 88 J on flop is really a cooler?

(Phil capped the flop, raised the turn and bet the river with 88)

 


PHILHELLMUTH: what U thionk>?


HOSS_TBF: i think it's a coinflip


PHILHELLMUTH: rreverse flops I scoop[ em both with BEST hand as usual


PHILHELLMUTH: BEST hand syndrome I have


PHILHELLMUTH: made me millions


HOSS_TBF: instead you lost both with worst hand?


HOSS_TBF: i wonder if they gave out anti-bracelets


HOSS_TBF: how many you would have


PHILHELLMUTH: yeah


PHILHELLMUTH: what a joke


HOSS_TBF: OP?


PHILHELLMUTH: moron gets every raise in when tiny favorite


PHILHELLMUTH: pathtetic play

PHILHELLMUTH: U horrible

PHILHELLMUTH: KK for me

PHILHELLMUTH: nice 3 bet

PHILHELLMUTH: this is ridiculous

PHILHELLMUTH: 6-5 vs KK

PHILHELLMUTH: y'all are so awful I feel like ****

HOSS_TBF: you're a silly goose

PHILHELLMUTH: how the **** U guys get away with it?

PHILHELLMUTH: why U three bet with 6-5?

PHILHELLMUTH: OK

PHILHELLMUTH: U wanna play bad so be it

PHILHELLMUTH: Ill play even tighter

HOSS_TBF: sweet heavens xmas has come early

PHILHELLMUTH: In guess I wouldn't have deca millions without bad players

HOSS_TBF: sure you would

HOSS_TBF: but you wouldn't have the millions without television

PHILHELLMUTH: time to pay

PHILHELLMUTH: U guys almost took my spirit with those moronic moves

PHILHELLMUTH: but then I rmembered

PHILHELLMUTH: lol

PHILHELLMUTH: wow U two are special

PHILHELLMUTH: U have no pride

PHILHELLMUTH: thats why I win

PHILHELLMUTH: U did it again man well done

PHILHELLMUTH: QQ AK beat

 

 

we then play a pot where i have Tc9c, and flop open-ended straight flush draw:  jc 8c 4h, we cap the flop, i checkraise blank turn, river is another blank, i bet, phil calls, shows KTo for the win with K high

PHILHELLMUTH: cause you just another OP

PHILHELLMUTH: cause you don't deserve it

 

TURNTHECAROFF: whos worse phil me or hoss?

PHILHELLMUTH: obs hoss is worse

TURNTHECAROFF: hahahahahaahhaha

PHILHELLMUTH: but you have gotten away with murder

PHILHELLMUTH: its like hoss tryinmg to lose

TURNTHECAROFF: ]hahahahahaha

PHILHELLMUTH: I give U zero action hoss

PHILHELLMUTH: and U still take ace rag and win every pot

PHILHELLMUTH: U beat my QQ and my AK

PHILHELLMUTH: and U hit mirca;ces

PHILHELLMUTH: ALL THAT, and I will beat you for 200K by end of year PROMIS

PHILHELLMUTH: cause you just another OP

PHILHELLMUTH: 66k in front of U, PEEEUUUU sir

PHILHELLMUTH: its semlls bad from ehre

PHILHELLMUTH: zero acrton from me

PHILHELLMUTH: wow how tilted are U man?

PHILHELLMUTH: what a sucker

PHILHELLMUTH: plqys every single pot

PHILHELLMUTH:  and pays off like a slot machine

TURNTHECAROFF: lolololol

HOSS_TBF: *exactly* like a slot machine

PHILHELLMUTH: opay

PHILHELLMUTH: pay

(i've boldfaced the best line of the night)

 

PHILHELLMUTH: no way


PHILHELLMUTH: what a ****** night


PHILHELLMUTH: thats OK


PHILHELLMUTH: just keep up the OP suckers

PHILHELLMUTH: wow look at these beats u put on  m,e


PHILHELLMUTH: I dont understand


PHILHELLMUTH: I play only AJ's and


PHILHELLMUTH: and U guys saw them up with A-9s


PHILHELLMUTH: I should have 50k right now


 

HOSS_TBF: maybe if you started with 200k
 . . .

 

PHILHELLMUTH: no action we see if u hit your hands son


PHILHELLMUTH: Im a folding machine


PHILHELLMUTH: then i stick U!!!


PHILHELLMUTH: this is such BS


PHILHELLMUTH: ****


PHILHELLMUTH: I let you dummys go off


PHILHELLMUTH: and play every hand like a moron


PHILHELLMUTH: and I'm losing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PHILHELLMUTH: sick



PHILHELLMUTH: fold folf fold


PHILHELLMUTH: I fold every button


PHILHELLMUTH: and every small blind


PHILHELLMUTH: and then U morons beat A-J


PHILHELLMUTH: or AK


PHILHELLMUTH: makes me sick U have no patience, no game

 

 

now we play a hand where i open the button with TT, it gets 4-bet back to me with phil in the big blind, flop 872, phil and i cap, other guy folds

turn is a 9, phil checkraises and i call down. i win when phil shows A9, he then says . . .

PHILHELLMUTH: so sick

PHILHELLMUTH: I sit here on the sideleines folding

PHILHELLMUTH: like an 11 time champion

PHILHELLMUTH: and y'all just get lucky

 

TURNTHECAROFF: folding folding folding

TURNTHECAROFF: finally he picks up the 3RD BEST HAND in a 3way pot

PHILHELLMUTH: Im waiting for my 50k run, gonna happen quick as bad as y'al

PHILHELLMUTH: OP hands

PHILHELLMUTH: i'll win so quick its scary

PHILHELLMUTH: are you ****** kidding me

PHILHELLMUTH: yeah I got colleed

TURNTHECAROFF: you were drawing 2 3 outs the whole hand phil

PHILHELLMUTH: cooler agauin and again

PHILHELLMUTH: yes dummy, ace has to hit when I slow play preflop?

PHILHELLMUTH: it came for me to lose max

TURNTHECAROFF: keep slow playin those ace rags phil

 

PHILHELLMUTH: here we go

PHILHELLMUTH: thast right run me over lol

PHILHELLMUTH: roflol

PHILHELLMUTH: some sick stuff boys, but my turn coming

PHILHELLMUTH: when i win 50k str8 are u gonna tell me how lucky I am?

PHILHELLMUTH: wow this so brutal

PHILHELLMUTH: monkey

HOSS_TBF: I'M THE MONKEY!?

PHILHELLMUTH: U are so bad its scary

PHILHELLMUTH: but the deck saved U so far

PHILHELLMUTH: never seen a guy win with 10-4 off suit more than you

HOSS_TBF: i prefer the term "10-4 doublesuited"

HOSS_TBF: and that's because you LIMP ACES (and check back the flop)

PHILHELLMUTH: lol

PHILHELLMUTH: wtf

PHILHELLMUTH: wow value bet a three to the river

PHILHELLMUTH: moron

PHILHELLMUTH: moron

PHILHELLMUTH: lol'

PHILHELLMUTH: I eman wow

PHILHELLMUTH: wow

 

PHILHELLMUTH: U make a lot of good checks vs me hoss

PHILHELLMUTH: I better have em look at this session, security

PHILHELLMUTH: well, U either totally outdrew me all night or U bluffed a F

PHILHELLMUTH: few

PHILHELLMUTH: I saw a bunch of yiour hands when I had ace high and U won e

PHILHELLMUTH: m all

PHILHELLMUTH: VNH

TURNTHECAROFF: i can see the steam phil

TURNTHECAROFF: lol

PHILHELLMUTH: Idont steam against bad pl,ayers

TURNTHECAROFF: who on this site would you call a good player phil?

 

PHILHELLMUTH: wow amazing

PHILHELLMUTH: hoss Im having scurity review this session first time ever

PHILHELLMUTH: thats the truth

TURNTHECAROFF: lololl

PHILHELLMUTH: hoss is playing well vs me

TURNTHECAROFF: wp hoss

TURNTHECAROFF: he is supposedly a great player phil

PHILHELLMUTH: U morons beat AQ KQ KJ and more in the last few minutes alon

PHILHELLMUTH: **** this

PHILHELLMUTH: gadwr

PHILHELLMUTH: \q4th6

PHILHELLMUTH: how in fusk hell

PHILHELLMUTH: do you get away with this ****

TURNTHECAROFF: LOLOLOL

PHILHELLMUTH: one of the most brutal sessions of my life

PHILHELLMUTH: cause I stayed strong

PHILHELLMUTH: and showed top rate hands all night

TURNTHECAROFF: hahhaha

PHILHELLMUTH: wow every hand I get ****ed

PHILHELLMUTH: well Im going to fight back

PHILHELLMUTH: wow all night olong same ****

PHILHELLMUTH: U do win the max but U will lose the mqax as well soon

PHILHELLMUTH: WP

 

TURNTHECAROFF: you really playing your heart out phil

 

PHILHELLMUTH: You ******* moron

PHILHELLMUTH: and i cannot hit a pair and flush draw vs you

TURNTHECAROFF: i dont mind being a moron with ALL YOUR MONIES

PHILHELLMUTH: ******* idiot

PHILHELLMUTH: how long that gonna last?

TURNTHECAROFF: nh

PHILHELLMUTH: even if you get me tonight, I'll show you the nuts all year

PHILHELLMUTH: I mean wow

HOSS_TBF: you'll see them, too

HOSS_TBF: cause it'll go check check check check check check

 

PHILHELLMUTH: OK no more chat from me

 

PHILHELLMUTH: sure just **** me over hand after hand

PHILHELLMUTH: this isn't funny anymore

PHILHELLMUTH: Im gonna enjoy my revenge

PHILHELLMUTH: lol

PHILHELLMUTH: I had KJ

PHILHELLMUTH: lol

TURNTHECAROFF: hilarious phil

PHILHELLMUTH: yes they found a queen for ya'll

PHILHELLMUTH: congrats this is my biggest loss in two years playing online

PHILHELLMUTH: Limit holdem

 

One of my bigger leaks in HORSE is forgetting which game I'm playing.  Sometimes it works out:

PokerStars Game #25160816279:  HORSE (7 Card Stud Limit, $200/$400) - 2009/02/20 15:20:41 ET
Table 'Antares VIII' 8-max
Seat 5: Amke ($12144 in chips)
Seat 7: Hoss_TBF ($18749.50 in chips)
Amke: posts the ante $40
Hoss_TBF: posts the ante $40
*** 3rd STREET ***
Dealt to Amke [3h]
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [2s 6s 5c]
Amke: brings in for $60
Hoss_TBF: raises $140 to $200
Amke: raises $200 to $400
Hoss_TBF: raises $200 to $600
Amke: calls $200
*** 4th STREET ***
Dealt to Amke [3h] [7s]
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [2s 6s 5c] [4h]
Amke: checks
Hoss_TBF: bets $200
Amke: raises $200 to $400
Hoss_TBF: raises $200 to $600
Amke: calls $200
*** 5th STREET ***
Dealt to Amke [3h 7s] [3c]
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [2s 6s 5c 4h] [As]
Amke: checks
Hoss_TBF: bets $400
Amke: calls $400
*** 6th STREET ***
Dealt to Amke [3h 7s 3c] [Td]
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [2s 6s 5c 4h As] [Th]
Amke: checks
Hoss_TBF: bets $400
Amke: calls $400
*** RIVER ***
Dealt to Hoss_TBF [2s 6s 5c 4h As Th] [8h]
Amke: checks
Hoss_TBF: bets $400
Amke: folds
Uncalled bet ($400) returned to Hoss_TBF
Hoss_TBF collected $4079 from pot
Hoss_TBF: doesn't show hand
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $4080 | Rake $1
Seat 5: Amke folded on the River
Seat 7: Hoss_TBF collected ($4079)

I was transferring some money to a friend on Pokerstars today.  Security calls me and to verify my identity, asks me a few questions.  The last one they asked was, "Can you tell me the size and date of the most recent deposit you made?"

-"uhh, seriously?"

-"yes sir, we need to confirm that it's you."

-"ummm . . . $100 about 6 years ago?"

-"Thank you, your transaction will be processed shortly."